Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Blood, Sweat, and LOTS of Tears

That is the best way to describe the first week of Natalie's life...

And the crying has been shared by both Natalie and I. Let me just say that breastfeeding is the absolute hardest thing ever. I had an AWFUL experience with nursing with Marisa and it doesn't help that that bad experience has always been lingering in the back of my mind before and after Natalie's birth. To this day I still feel guilty and extremely sad about not knowing she was starving and losing way too much weight for two weeks.
So because of that I have been extra sensitive with Natalie. Luckily, Natalie's lowest weight so far that we know of was 5 pounds 9 ounces. At her first week doctor's appointment today she weighed 5 pounds 13 ounces and the doctor said she is perfect and has no worries with my breastfeeding or her weight. So I'm crossing my fingers.
In addition to Natalie and I learning to nurse together, the lack of major sleep (I think I got 2 hours total in 2 days), not eating or drinking, and HIGH stress the past week definetly does not help in the breastfeeding department. Why is something so natural so seemingly impossible?
Also, Natalie WILL NOT stay sleep unless she is on my chest or I am nursing her until we both fall sleep. She WILL NOT take a pacifer (she uses me as a pacifer when she is done nursing), she HATES being wrapped up and never stays wrapped up either, she WILL NOT stay asleep on her back (she has to be held in order to sleep), AND she WILL NOT go to anyone else! STRESSFUL! I don't get a break. Ever. Can we say high maintanence?

But thanks to literally heaven sent angels, a blessing, and the Lord answering my pleadings, I feel much better that I have the strength to do this. To do this mommy job. It can only go up from the bottom, right? But despite this challenge, Natalie is the cutest, prettiest baby and I love her!

Our little angel!

Cutest little pink football!

Natalie's first bath!

As for Marisa, she has taken us by surprise. She has adjusted soo well to baby Natalie. She loves laying next to her and hugging her and touching her face, hands, arms, legs, feet, she just can't get enough! Whenever Marisa sees her, in her high pitched voice she says, "Hi Baby Natalie!" and then nuzzles her nose into her face and neck.
Marisa also loves to help with diaper changing. Whenever she hears Natalie crying the first thing she does is grab a diaper for me and says, "She's stinky!" One of Marisa's favorite things to do with her is to lie down on the floor and cuddle with her. She just giggles, wraps her arms around her, and talks in a very high pitched voice to her. Watching her reaction to little Natalie and watching my two girls together is probably the best time of the day for me.

Marisa giving kisses after feeding Natalie a bottle!

Daddy's little girls!

Sister love!

15 comments:

Megan said...

Congrats on the beautiful baby! Nursing is tough the first little bit, but if it works, it is very rewarding. You can do it!

Britney said...

Good thing babies are so precious or who would want to go through all the torture! Hang in there! I just now feel like I have breastfeeding down..after 4 months, but it does start to get a lot better after just a few weeks. I asked myself the same question over and over...why is it supposed to be so natural but it's so dang HARD?

Memo & Jeri said...

Tanya,Tim and Marisa-
Congratulations! We are so happy for you and welcome your sweet baby girl to the family! Tanya- hang in there. Every mom knows exactly how you feel. It is so hard right at the first. Natalie is so beautiful! I hope you are feeling better soon, and that everyone gets some sleep. We love you guys and miss you. Take care!

Stephanie said...

She's gorgeous Tanya. Seriously, totally pretty.

So, it's sounding pretty difficult, but I think I might have some advice. I have a REALLY hard time nursing too, if I do it the "right" way. The difficulty I had nursing with Scotty made me a total wreck and I was crying all the time and dreading feeding and all that. So after a month of blood and lots of tears and trying EVERYTHING under the sun to sooth my cracks and scabs (not a pretty picture but I'm sure you know) I started using a nipple shield.

Here's the link: http://www.target.com/Medela-Nipple-Shield/dp/B000067PQ0/qid=1250193158/ref=br_1_4/185-5025502-0654851?ie=UTF8&node=1041914&frombrowse=1&index=tgt-mf-mv&rank=price&rh=p%5F36%3A%240-%2424&page=1

Basically it prevents the baby from sucking right on you and lets you heal. I used it for nine months with Scotty and six months with Emily. I brought it to the hospital with Ems because I didn't want that same experience I had with Scotty and it was much better. You can read the other reviews on Target.com. Some people say it effects your milk production. I don't know if that's true, but it's the ONLY way I can nurse.

Email me or comment on my blog if you have any questions. I cringe when I think about what I went through with Scotty so I hope you're okay!

Stephanie said...

So I just reread your blog. I don't know for sure if I addressed your problem, because I don't know exactly what it is. Are you sore? And it's painful? I'm assuming it's you bleeding as a result from nursing...if so, check out the shield.

Stephanie said...

Okay, one more thing. If you go with the shield, I've heard the larger one (24mm)is better and not to get the small one. I don't know why. Also, they carry them in stores, so don't wait to order it online. I really hope this helps.

Jenny Turk said...

Congratulations! I'm sorry the breastfeeding thing isn't going the greatest. Lots of people have problems with breastfeeding. I think there is only a low percentage of women who actually don't have problems in fact. So don't feel guilty. Good luck with everything though. Hopefully things will get better soon, and you both will actually get some sleep!

becca b said...

Oh my gosh--she is beautiful! I love the bath picture... Yep, babies are hard...I'm still trying to figure out how to convince myself to have another one--hasn't happened yet. Great job for being a great mom!

The Rogers said...

I feel your pain with the breastfeeding thing. Isabelle refused to do it at all. How lucky you are though to have two beautiful little girls. They look adorable.Congrats

Kelsie & Levi said...

Your new baby girl is beautiful! I'm so glad Marisa has adjusted well to her new sister! I hope things have gotten a bit better, sounds like it's been rough going. I'm so grateful I've had a pretty easy baby so far on my first time...but I am absolutely in love with being a mom!

AG said...

She is so beautiful, can't wait to see her this weekend.

Laura said...

Hey girl! I need to come see you! Okay, a couple of things that saved me while breastfeeding:

Soothing gel pads - these are amazing. Buy a couple of boxes:

http://www.target.com/Playtex-Soothing-Gel-Pads/dp/B000P9CON2/sr=1-1/qid=1250843007/ref=sr_1_1/185-3193971-0543948?ie=UTF8&search-alias=tgt-index&frombrowse=0&index=target&rh=k%3Anursing%20gel&page=1

and Hot or Cool packs - I just kept these in the fridge:

http://www.target.com/dp/B000096M1A/sr=1-1/qid=1250843183/ref=sr_fkmr_txt_2_1/185-3193971-0543948?ie=UTF8&search-alias=tgt-index&frombrowse=0&index=target&rh=k%3Anursing%20ice%20pack&page=1

and of course:
http://www.target.com/Lansinoh-Breast-Creme/dp/B000067DYG/sr=1-1/qid=1250843317/ref=sr_1_1/185-3193971-0543948?ie=UTF8&search-alias=tgt-index&frombrowse=0&index=target&rh=k%3Alansinoh&page=1

I used it all... let me know if you want any of them -- I'll go buy them for you and bring them to you!!! :)

Courtney_and_John said...

Congratulations on your new little one! She is so cute!

Kayleen, Isaac, & Dylan said...

Hang in there! Dylan was a very tricky baby. Lanolin became my best friend when I was learning to nurse with him. My issue was too many times he was not latched on properly and was sucking on just nipple which makes life pretty miserable. I hope things get better soon!

Parkinson Family said...

shes gorgeous! love the name :) i am with you on this post....everything from the holding her, the pacifier, her not wanting to go to anyone else, breastfeeding...uh, good thing they're so cute, huh, im sure you're doing awesome! glad you're feeling better and since i read this all in one night :) sounds like shes getting better with sleep and everything, so good for both of you!!

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