discouraged.

It is no surprise that I'm having a harder time adjusting. And today is another day I can add to my list of days that don't exactly help.
My experience so far feels like a roller coaster ride. I do have days that seem to start out great. Even if one thing, one small thing goes right, I try to look at it as though things are moving up. But once that spark of encouragement comes then the ride suddenly vears sharply to the left and plummets down rapidly. And then the ride continues again, things start to look up, and then a sudden vear to the right and loops and twirls all around.
Today, for example, is the perfect scenario of just that.
I get an email that my John Lewis order, (yes, another one) is arriving this morning. It comes early in the morning and ALL the items are in the box! Yay! Yay, for easy deliver and no hassle.
But then I managed to get on the wrong bus going to town and I had to back track half of the way, cross a major busy street, and lug two kids who want to complain the whole time. But, the second bus driver was so very kind to me and helpful. I love those rare moments of kindness from Londoners.
I go to the post office once I get off the correct stop to see where my parcel is. No luck, they don't know, they will get to me tomorrow. But, the girls and I got to buy fresh fruit and bread at the local markets in the village. So fun!
We then went home afterwards to find my missing parcel right by my post box. Yay! TVs are here! Double yay! Two good things in a row!
But, Marisa got to watch one movie and then it stopped working. Really....
Then, landlord sends someone to get a quote on a window that needs to be fixed. Again, very rare moment when you can talk to a kind man, but our conversation went like this.


"I can tell you are from the states but where about?"
"Oh, I'm from California!"
"And why would you come to London??"
"Ugh! Don't say that! I've gotten that so many times already!"
"But it's true! I mean, look outside! It's cloudy and cold and everyone here walks around staring at their feet completely miserable! People here are kind of a$$holes to be honest."


We had a good laugh after that and for the first time someone could agree and see what I feel on a day to day basis. I have never had someone say, "Oh neat! Welcome to London, you are going to love it here!" They almost always say, "Oh, I'm sorry" or "Do you find that people here are miserable?", when I tell them that I have just moved here for two years.
The gentleman was extremely nice and talkative which is rare for a Londoner. We talked about the attitudes of Londoners, life here, and the crappy customer service in the UK. (Amen, brotha!) Although it was so nice to just chat with someone, even a stranger, I did feel a little discouraged after he left. Even a little teary-eyed.

For so long Tim and I have had lots of discussions on how valuable it would be to live abroad. The things we get to see, places we get to visit, and the cultures we and our girls get to experience. You just can't buy experiences like that. You only live once and we want to make the most of life for us and our children.

I know getting settled in is hard anywhere you move, especially internationally, and I'm fully aware we are in the midst of it, but it is really discouraging when I wake up each day and I have to battle the constant up and down in a single day. One second I see a ray of sunshine and the next several hours is nothing but dark clouds. I wish I had just 1 day of things going right. Even one simple thing like the fact that all I want is to take the right bus and get off at the right stop the first time!!!
I can't explain enough how grateful I am for the sweet old ladies and men on the bus who graciously help Marisa down the aisle of the bus while I try to push my buggy and a screaming 1 year old off the bus, and for those few people that give a smile or compliment to me and my girls at the park, store, or bus, and for those other few people who are kind and gentle in their words.

Nicole told me on the phone today, "It's ok. Tomorrow is a new day." And she is right. Tomorrow is a new day. I need to remain optimistic as possible.

I have always loved this...

ever since I saw it at a store in Fashion Island. Little did I know that Rachel Ashwell lives here in London. I really need to take this motto to heart and not let the natives here get to me or any other humps on the road get to me either. Despite the major adjustment I still very much want to be here, (don't get me wrong I'm not complaining that I live here!) and couldn't imagine being anywhere else right now in my life. Tim and I have never felt this was a wrong decision. We very much strongly feel this is where our family is to be.
So, here's to taking the right bus the first time!!! haha